Why Do You Build Me Up?

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!” 
― Dr. Seuss

Well, it is that time of year again. The time where we, as parents, spend countless days and nights finding the perfect gifts for our children. The time when we spend even more nights wrapping and hiding the aforementioned presents. The time when we count the gifts over and over to make sure that each child has the same number of items, so as to not piss them off on this most blessed holiday. Yes, it is Christmas.

My wife and I (mainly my wife) have spent the last 6 weeks or so listening to every desire that our children have. We have eavesdropped on the encounters with Santa to determine what they want. We have asked each of them incessantly what they would like for Christmas – almost to the point of making it blatantly obvious what our true role in the festivities is.

Now what was it you said you wanted from Santa?

And what ad did you say you saw that in again?

Ok, but what page was it on?

Did you see it in the store? What aisle?

What color do you want? You know, so Santa knows.

After all, this is how the magic happens. Luckily for us, our children are incredibly specific. Purple bike for Hannah; check. Light-up IronMan for Alex; check. These are the two that we heard about the most. There were others, but for some reason, these ring in my head. I know that this is not what the season is about, and for the most part, so do the kids, but it’s still fun. When it was all said and done, we had found everything on the lists. Score.

When Christmas Eve came, there was no miniature sleigh on my roof; there were no tiny reindeer either. Nope, it was just me and the Mrs. staying up till the wee hours of the night sipping on beverages waiting for sugar plums to start dancing. It was around 12:30 a.m. that we decided the coast was clear. You know, because the kids always stay up until about 11:30 every other night (sarcasm). We then started the process as if we were Seal Team 6 due to the insanely heightened sense of hearing that children have (more sarcasm). These are the same children that have slept through me accidentally setting off the burglar alarm in the middle of the night. Regardless, this is a stressful portion of the evening.

We arranged everything perfectly so there would be no confusion as to which pile belonged to whom. This was always a problem when I was growing up, but then again, my parents did have a litter, so this task was a bit more challenging. My wife really enjoys this part. She has to make sure everything is perfect. I have to remind myself that, in the grand scheme of things, this is all still new for her; she gets just as excited as the kids do.

We were giddy. We had found everything they had asked for. Everything was in its proper place, after much rearranging and my eventual getting the hell out of the way. The kids were going to love it. I could not wait to see their faces as they came down the stairs. My wife, at one point, even mentioned how the kids were going to “flip their shit”. This statement alone let me know just how excited she was – just like a kid herself - a delightful, enthusiastic, foul-mouthed little kid.

Our delightful angels actually let us sleep until 7:30 on Christmas morning, a gift in and of itself. They came in and were ecstatic as Santa had left a candy cane on their dressers to let them know he had been there. They jump on the bed and we eventually head downstairs. I went down first to turn on the lights and the tree, and because I really wanted to see their faces as they came down. Sharon was on video. She had the phone in hand ready to record these priceless reactions of joy and gratitude. They descended upon the living room and immediately…had no reaction whatsoever. Needless to say, shit was not flipped.

As parents, we need that reaction; we have to have it. So, what do we do? We start priming the reaction engines. We pull it out of them and make them become joyful. My wife is a pro at this…(raise your reading voice a few octaves for this)

Oh my goodness! What did you guys get?

Is that a purple bike? Wow!

Light-up IronMan? So cool!

Isn’t this amazing?! What do you guys think?!

Smile. Scream. Jump up and down. Hell, throw up from being overwhelmed. Do something, dammit! I felt like I needed to give them comment cards with a check box on it.

Check the box that applies

 This is all in jest. It took a while, but the kids did get excited about their gifts and they were extremely grateful. After a short time, they were both riding bikes around the house and IronMan was flying through the skies. This was the reaction we were looking for. It just took a while to sink in.

My wife and I sat back and watched and realized the blessings we have in our life, and that is when we knew all of the questioning, the shopping, and the covert operations are all worth it. Now, it is time for a long winter’s nap.