Lessons Learned

• You can never really live anyone else’s life, not even your child’s. The influence you exert is through your own life, and what you’ve become yourself.
  -Eleanor Roosevelt
  We’re Rollin’ Out…
  My daughter and I have recently discovered a new bond that she and I have. It is an incredible bond, and it is one that I hope serves her well throughout her life. I think it is a union that transcends what I could have ever hoped for. It is a bond that can, and most certainly will, have a lasting effect on both of us. I can already see subtle changes in each of us. This revelation is that she and I enjoy watching cooking shows together. We can sit and watch the Food Network or the Cooking Channel for hours. I must admit that our favorite show is Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. Whenever she sees it on the satellite menu, she drops everything and is ready to watch. No Disney Channel, no Nick Jr., Food Network – that is what she wants to watch. Don’t get me wrong, I think if I gave her the choice between going to DisneyWorld or going to the Fresh Market, she would most likely choose DisneyWorld.
  This love of culinary entertainment has become evident during meals. Whenever I begin to cook a meal, she is right there at my feet wanting to help in whatever way she can. For the most part, this is great, but let’s be honest – sometimes the best way a child can help in the kitchen is to get out of the kitchen. While this may be the case, it doesn’t hurt to let them stir something, or butter a pan, or something similar. Assisting in these small ways can mean the world to a child, especially when they are an aspiring executive chef. This introduction to Guy Fieri and his colorful assessments of different flavors has become apparent in other ways as well. My wife was recently taking the kids to school and they were eating apple scones in the back of the minivan. To make conversation, Sharon asked the kids how the scones were. My articulate son, Alex, responded, “Good!” Hannah, however, had a different take on the scone. “Mommy, it is both sweet and tart. I can really taste the tartness of the apples with the sweetness of the cinnamon and sugar.” What the Hell?! She is five. I must say this made me proud. After all, her description is accurate.
  The Bully
  Recently, we have been getting reports from daycare that Alex is having trouble with pushing and hitting. I know that this is something that most little boys go through at his age – if you didn’t, then you were the one getting bullied, and you really just need to man up. Only kidding. Anyway, this is unacceptable in our house, and we have tried different things to remedy the situation. We have taken different things away as punishment. We have used public embarrassment in that we make him apologize in front of everyone. We have used the oh so effective time-out method. And, yes, we have even resorted to corporal punishment by smacking his hand or popping his butt – oh how ashamed are we (sarcasm). This has worked some, but not completely. One day, we got another report from his teacher that he was having trouble with his “aggression”. It was at this point that I remembered that we had a Berenstain Bears book called The Bully. Those damn bears have been through it all. I decided I would read this to him at bedtime to try and get the point across. He loves these books.
  That night we read the entire book, and even went over talking points after each pertinent scenario in the book. He seemed as if he understood. This was it! This was the method that was finally going to get through to him! Finally. Brother and Sister Bear were going to make everything ok. A book! Who knew? At the end of the book, I looked at my son, and asked him if he understood what we just read. He answered, “Yes sir!” Excellent. Here is the moment we had been waiting for. My wife was going to be so proud. His teacher would be so pleased. Other children would be safe.
   “OK, Alex, what did you learn from the book?”
  “Don’t hit bears!”
  Dammit. In all fairness, you should never really hit bears.
  As an aside, let me ask you – what is your narration voice when you read to your kids? Not long ago, I gathered that mine was that of Richard Dreyfus from the movie Stand By Me. I had no idea that I was doing this, but I was…and it is awesome.
  
  
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